Sunday Someday

Sunday in the city and I regard Sunday in much the same contempt with which the Boomtown Rats viewed Mondays.  It always feels to me like something of a non-event; a lot of energy is missing, the people are somehow different and, as a homeless person, there is precious little with which to pass the time constructively.  One of my favourite haunts, the library, does not open on a Sunday so its many delights remain firmly locked from reach like a literary chastity belt.  I have been into the shopping centre with its previously mentioned scant provision for resting one’s limbs, enjoyed my daily 15 minute chill-out treat so as my mind turns to my oft-neglected stomach I find myself once again sat in my favourite spot, book and pen in hand, recording the goings on and basking in the brightness afforded by the late October sun.  Don’t be fooled though, were it not for the constant flow of warm air from the vents above me my jacket would be fastened tight all the way up.

Today is one of those days I can’t quite put my finger on; whether it is just the general “Sundayness”, a day where any routine from the rest of the week goes out of the window but I am feeling a very strange kind of absence.  I know I did not sleep well last night but I don’t think I can put it down to that.  It is a very odd feeling that no matter where I have been today I should probably have been somewhere else.  I know very much that I am a square peg in a world that actually has no square holes but it isn’t that either.  An overwhelming feeling that something is going on somewhere but I am missing it for being in the wrong place.  It is a Sunday; nothing happens on a Sunday, I have no appointments to keep except to visit the town hall tomorrow morning but still it is a feeling I cannot shake.  Perhaps if I go for a wander one of three outcomes will prevail 1) – I will stumble upon whatever it is and all will suddenly become clear 2) – Whatever it is I will still be missing it but at least I will have looked in all the likely places it is not happening in 3) – I will wander round to the point I become too tired and achy to care and just want to stop and rest.  Whatever it is I am missing is more than welcome to itself and if I haven’t found it yet then I am not likely to do so any time soon.

As I sit here staring into space trying to fathom a route that covers most of the obvious ports of call along the way it occurs to me just how uncomfortable I am becoming just sitting here, so without further ado it is time for walkies…..

I still don’t know, in all honesty, quite what to make of the day.  During the course of my walk I have seen a couple of familiar faces who have been missing in action of late; it is good to see they are still with us.  I am not going to say they are “still OK”, are any of us out on the streets truly OK?  The stresses and strains of life are certainly taking their toll both physically and mentally; a finger wrapped in bandages and tales of woe from a relationship perspective.  She will keep going alright, she is a soldier in her own way but I still feel drawn to check in on her every now and then.  I’ve got a few small donations too – every little helps as a certain supermarket once told me.  It still feels a bit early to be heading off towards my haven for the night so I will sit in my spot and watch the world go by.

One of my previous encounters popped by, still happily chugging from a can of lighter gas, her life still an interesting mixture of street theatre, semi incoherent rants at the shadows and moments of utter clarity.  Whatever is going on behind those eyes there is a lonely girl deep inside who just wants to be loved.